blast from the past 2: these are the days of great distraction…

This is another repost of one of the few attempts I once had to use my myspace as a blog…  A bit older, and I wasn’t married yet at the moment.. For a soundtrack I would propose some great psalters music, like the songs we are all lepers here and the turn me round slave song. More of their songs can be downloaded @ > media.

thursday, januari 04, 2007
title: these are the days of great distraction…
originally posted on
The city is dark tonight; I’m all alone right now with a messy room and this old crappy computer… So much things that I should do, and what do I do? nothing… It takes me more than one day to clean up this 3 little rooms that I have in this new home in the big city, it takes me forever to do just nothing…
I pick up an old comick, I read it, I chat on MSN, I walk around, I eat something, I do nothing… I could be playing or recording music, I could be writing, I could be drawing, I could be reading… I could be praying, I could be helping friends, I could be loving… But right now the nothingness is calling me to waste my time, waste precious time and energy… And I just give in… Sometimes the devil does not come with sex and drugs and rock’n roll… The results are the almost same. I’m half part of the machine, half sucked into notingness, and as a whole I’m not being what I’m meant to be…
It’s not that I’m unemployed right now; work is just another distraction most of the time!! People ask you ‘what are you doing’ and then expect me to say my job or what I’m studying… As if those meaningless jobs are our identity… As if the way you make money is what you are… What are you doing? Just making money and waiting till the day is over, watching TV, falling asleep,…
All of this, it’s all just distractions. meaningless and chasing of raindrops…
An old radiohead live only songs plays in my head ‘I’m not living, I’m just being lived… What’s the title again? ‘true love waits’? Well the time for waiting should be over… True love is to be lived, and nothing else matters!!! True life is to be lived, and otherwise it’s not worth a thing. If we are alive without being living we are insulting the One who gave us life!!! Like I’ve been doing today!!!!
I’m far away from God, I’m far away from the people who need my love, I’m far away from God… I’m far from living…
Oh If I could just be a who God made me to be, a lover to my lover, a true friend to my friends, oh if I could only love God above all and my neighbor as myself, oh if I could make LOVE the center of this life… Right now I’m still living in the great distractions… I’m stuck bethween nothingness and the machine right now… Let it end tonight!!!!!
Oh God, I need to LIVE!!! WAKE ME UP!!!

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