Post-human broken sexuality… vs the beauty in this innocence


Sometimes I feel like an alien on this planet… Maybe it’s not okay for some people to watch this, but otherwise, just watch this video, and ask yourself WTF???

And yes, the f-word is totally appropriate in this context. It is all so fucked-up, and broken, and degraded, and degrading… I’m not a specialist, bu I think it’s a lot worse even than regular porn, which is degrading to both men and woman, woman become objects, men become something less-than human that has to obey the dark side of their instincts. And I’m really I’m glad that all I feel when seeing this is a disconnect. This is far beyond anything that even the darkest evil part of my sexuality could enjoy… It doesn’t feel human anymore, it reminds me more of Marilyn Manson than of the oversexed videos they had when I was a teenager. Everything about her looks fake. There is nothing left of love and playfullness and human beauty.

I’m really glad that I’m not one of these poor teenagers who see this as a mainstream hit video on TV and without knowing for their view on sexuality based on this kind of shit. It is so destructive. I see nothing positive about sexuality in it. Se doesn’t even seem to care, she just gets taken by whoever is accidentally close to her. Her face reminds me of the girls in the red light street, whose eyes haunted me for long after I passed through there…

There’s no good news in sexuality to find in here… It’s so fucking empty!!!

Oh how I wish someone could just give her a hug, and be her friend…

Oh how I wish all of this nonsense is just fake, and that after her working day is over she’ll come home and sleep in the arms of a loving boyfriend, as was the case in the story of a stripper with whom I once heard an interview on the radio…

This one is a bit different, it’s just the consequences of rock’n roll I guess… She’s a human wreck, but I can still see human brokenness in it… But still I see no hope, no light at the end of the darkness, a description of a broken sexuality and a broken humanity. There’s nothing about it that could ever seduce me to ‘go over to the dark side’. Only a foretaste of hell…

All this brokenness makes me so sad and wanting to cry inside.

I know I am so blessed to not have to think that all this fucked-upness is all there is. Praise God!! I think about the way some people in this world are positively surprised by my own relationship. Being together for six years, married for almost 3, and still playful and in love and best friends. It is the opposite of all of this fucked-upness. Maybe not perfect, but there is trust and love and safeness…

shouldn’t we as Christians try to find a way to bring love as ‘good news’ in this sexually broken world? That sexuality doesn’t have to be pain and brokenness, but that it CAN be safe and intimate and loving and stuff, and that lifelong monogamous relationships are possible? It may require a priority and paradigm shift, but it’s worth it. It really is…

‘marriage’ is not about legal contracts, or institutions in the first place, or decadent wedding parties, and whatever. It is about a lifelong commitment, in which a new family is born. It also is about having a safe place for sexuality. Sexuality is something very powerful, and if it goes wrong, it breaks people, it destroys, it tears apart. That’s the message we should bring. Not that sex outside of marriage is wrong because somehow the bible says it, but that it is wrong because it hurts, and destroys, and degrades, and in the end you loose your humanity like the laday gaga character…

Love and Lifelong monogamous relationships are good news…

For a contrast I will end with the lyrics of a song that was recorded on our wedding ceremony. It can be listened at last.fm (look for the player) is a very lo-fi recording, sorry, and it’s just me and my wife performing.

the beauty in this innocence (Bram Cools)

before you touched my lips
i was unkissed
and so were you my love
a new world will open up for us
like an empty canvas
that’s only ours to paint
in a world of ugliness
in a world or lies
let’s paint something beautiful
let ‘s paint something true (my love)

to love means to give
and I gave myself to you my love
and I ‘ll give myself more and more
iust like you do
let God be our witness here
those promises we made
when we were lying on the edge of the world
breaking them wou! d be suïcide
the end of all we stand for

take my hand and come with me
let’s walk slowly
among those flowers
no need to hurry
let’s take our time
go there barefoot
with our toes through the grass
if we’d go there by car
we’d leave a scar in the landscape
and spoil this garden
and it’s the beauty in this innocence
that I’m in love with

it’s the beauty in this innocence
that I’m in love with

Isn’t only the possibility of this kind of relationships already very good news in the world of ‘bad romance’ and ‘I’m no good’???? We should not condemn those people, they are already in hell, we should bring them good new. Love does exist!!! But that means hat we have to live that good news, and show it to the world with our own lives and relationships. Like the gospel..

(And yes it may sound naieve, but is it not equally naieve to believe that this fucked-up brokenness is all there can be?)

shalom

Bram

3 responses to “Post-human broken sexuality… vs the beauty in this innocence

  1. I think it is truly sad for all those people (specially teenager), who are in for so much hurt, because they are being lied and told that this what sex is all about.
    Bram you’re right in saying that we as Christians can show the world that things can be better, purer, lovelier. People often tell Jude and I that we look so happy and in love together(and we are-even after 7 and a half years of marriage), but all the glory be to God for that!!

  2. Ik voel medelijden voor Lady Gaga, ze moet echt diep ongelukkig zijn…

  3. Pingback: ondertussen op mijn engelstalige blogpagina… « ‘blog van Brambonius’

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