I don’t think I really wanted and even needed more.
I don’t think I reall needed more. Just love.
Friendship-love. Something real. Something not fake like oversexed music videos, billboards with half-naked women and other nonsense like porn.
I was turned off by everthing about sex at a certain moment. The whole of society was trying to sell me as much sex as possible, and I saw no love at all in it. The Christians sometimes seemed to be more interested in teaching how to not have sex than how to love…
Maybe I did scare girls away because they thought I wanted something I didn’t want. I never cared for sex without love. I don’t think I ever will. I have no problem with sex and I quite like it (which is probably good, since I’m a married man…) but I don’t get the hype. Sex is part of a love relationship. It is not an end in itself, and can be destructive if it becomes an end.
to quote Shane Claiborne:
If we are able to have a healthier understanding of sexuality and to celebrate singleness as well as marriage and family, then we can transcend some of this. One of my mentors is a celibate monk, and he says we can live without sex but we can’t live without love. And there are a lot of people who have a lot of sex and never experience love, and people who never have sex [but] have deep experiences of intimacy and love.
That’s what I needed. That’s what everybody needs. Maybe sex can be a distraction and substitute for some people in a way that just could never work for me, but it cannot replace love and cure loneliness.
Are we there for those who need love and friendship?
I’ll conclude with an old Bram Cools song (lo-fi alert: strange arrangement, poor melody and not so technical vocals), which can be downloaded here. It’s not really a video, sorry.