Tag Archives: status quo

I’m an alien


hi imaginary readers:

a confession; I’m an alien on this planet sometimes… My own secular post-catholic belgian culture is not mine, but the evangelical and pentacostel churches I’ve grown up in all feel strange to me too. It feels like I never belong anywhere for a 100%.

I don’t fit in in any segment of this society. I’m bored of the status-quo and safety obsessions of the middle class. I’m hardly survived the mentality of the working class when I was working among them for 2 years, and I’m still puzzled by that. It might just be very evil of me, or I’m just too different from the people I was working with, I don’t know. I know I am kinda intellectual, but most of people who go by that label just irritate the peanuts out of me. I don’t have much experience with real rich people, and upper-class stuff, but again I would most likely be bored to death among them… I guess I’m some kind of artist, or wannabe-artist, I don’t know. I don’t fit in.

That doesn’t mean I don’t love people who are inide the categories I described… Au contraire,… I love all kind of people, and even those I don’t like I’ll try to understand and love, and find any common ground with them… Only that might cost me lots of energy…

On the internet I can read lots of stuff, from any kind of writer in any tradition, subculture, or whatever. So I can read what I like, and I don’t even notice most of what I don’t like. That must have it’s advantages, but yet I’m still only moving in my vague segment (whatever that is) without seeing the big bad world outside… Maybe that’s not the best idea either…

I don’t know much, I don’t understand much of this alien planet. But I’m glad that one thing did work out for me: The relationship I’m in is a present from God. If I had to imagina myself a wife I would never have come up with anywthing close to her :p (that might just be a lack of imagination, though on the most areas people say I have too much imagination…) And even though it will never be perfect, the most amazing thing is that it is just a shadow and a vague reflection of something beyond what I can imagine!

YEs, then there is something beyond this world that I know I belong with. or Someone, te be precise. The wholly Other Trancendent and yet Omnipresent, Alpha & Omega, whom I know through Christ Jesus, the one I want to follow. I know He’s the One I belong with. And yet I run off into the nothingness so easily… I get distracted by the opium for the people the new media offer me. Or I just get lost in my own head… How I can be distracted from the Lover, compared to whose love the whole world is just something that could be dissolved in a glass of water, is one of the most dark mysteries, but it’s like that, and that’s the way it is..

And all the time He’s there. Calling me into His Kingdon that is at hand, but which still will only be fully realised at the consummation of all time. Which is beyond my mind, but I know that’s where I belong. And I know that all sense of home that I have in this world somewhere relates to Him, and His Creation, which still points at His greatness is so many ways… And this Kingdom could never be  forced into our human categories without losing it’s essence…

so maybe I should be the alien…
shalom

Bram

blast from the past 2: these are the days of great distraction…


This is another repost of one of the few attempts I once had to use my myspace as a blog…  A bit older, and I wasn’t married yet at the moment.. For a soundtrack I would propose some great psalters music, like the songs we are all lepers here and the turn me round slave song. More of their songs can be downloaded @ psalters.org > media.

thursday, januari 04, 2007
title: these are the days of great distraction…
originally posted on http://www.myspace.com/bramc
The city is dark tonight; I’m all alone right now with a messy room and this old crappy computer… So much things that I should do, and what do I do? nothing… It takes me more than one day to clean up this 3 little rooms that I have in this new home in the big city, it takes me forever to do just nothing…
I pick up an old comick, I read it, I chat on MSN, I walk around, I eat something, I do nothing… I could be playing or recording music, I could be writing, I could be drawing, I could be reading… I could be praying, I could be helping friends, I could be loving… But right now the nothingness is calling me to waste my time, waste precious time and energy… And I just give in… Sometimes the devil does not come with sex and drugs and rock’n roll… The results are the almost same. I’m half part of the machine, half sucked into notingness, and as a whole I’m not being what I’m meant to be…
It’s not that I’m unemployed right now; work is just another distraction most of the time!! People ask you ‘what are you doing’ and then expect me to say my job or what I’m studying… As if those meaningless jobs are our identity… As if the way you make money is what you are… What are you doing? Just making money and waiting till the day is over, watching TV, falling asleep,…
All of this, it’s all just distractions. meaningless and chasing of raindrops…
An old radiohead live only songs plays in my head ‘I’m not living, I’m just being lived… What’s the title again? ‘true love waits’? Well the time for waiting should be over… True love is to be lived, and nothing else matters!!! True life is to be lived, and otherwise it’s not worth a thing. If we are alive without being living we are insulting the One who gave us life!!! Like I’ve been doing today!!!!
I’m far away from God, I’m far away from the people who need my love, I’m far away from God… I’m far from living…
Oh If I could just be a who God made me to be, a lover to my lover, a true friend to my friends, oh if I could only love God above all and my neighbor as myself, oh if I could make LOVE the center of this life… Right now I’m still living in the great distractions… I’m stuck bethween nothingness and the machine right now… Let it end tonight!!!!!
Oh God, I need to LIVE!!! WAKE ME UP!!!
shalom
Bram