Tag Archives: the beauty in this innocence

Post-human broken sexuality… vs the beauty in this innocence

Sometimes I feel like an alien on this planet… Maybe it’s not okay for some people to watch this, but otherwise, just watch this video, and ask yourself WTF???

And yes, the f-word is totally appropriate in this context. It is all so fucked-up, and broken, and degraded, and degrading… I’m not a specialist, bu I think it’s a lot worse even than regular porn, which is degrading to both men and woman, woman become objects, men become something less-than human that has to obey the dark side of their instincts. And I’m really I’m glad that all I feel when seeing this is a disconnect. This is far beyond anything that even the darkest evil part of my sexuality could enjoy… It doesn’t feel human anymore, it reminds me more of Marilyn Manson than of the oversexed videos they had when I was a teenager. Everything about her looks fake. There is nothing left of love and playfullness and human beauty.

I’m really glad that I’m not one of these poor teenagers who see this as a mainstream hit video on TV and without knowing for their view on sexuality based on this kind of shit. It is so destructive. I see nothing positive about sexuality in it. Se doesn’t even seem to care, she just gets taken by whoever is accidentally close to her. Her face reminds me of the girls in the red light street, whose eyes haunted me for long after I passed through there…

There’s no good news in sexuality to find in here… It’s so fucking empty!!!

Oh how I wish someone could just give her a hug, and be her friend…

Oh how I wish all of this nonsense is just fake, and that after her working day is over she’ll come home and sleep in the arms of a loving boyfriend, as was the case in the story of a stripper with whom I once heard an interview on the radio…

This one is a bit different, it’s just the consequences of rock’n roll I guess… She’s a human wreck, but I can still see human brokenness in it… But still I see no hope, no light at the end of the darkness, a description of a broken sexuality and a broken humanity. There’s nothing about it that could ever seduce me to ‘go over to the dark side’. Only a foretaste of hell…

All this brokenness makes me so sad and wanting to cry inside.

I know I am so blessed to not have to think that all this fucked-upness is all there is. Praise God!! I think about the way some people in this world are positively surprised by my own relationship. Being together for six years, married for almost 3, and still playful and in love and best friends. It is the opposite of all of this fucked-upness. Maybe not perfect, but there is trust and love and safeness…

shouldn’t we as Christians try to find a way to bring love as ‘good news’ in this sexually broken world? That sexuality doesn’t have to be pain and brokenness, but that it CAN be safe and intimate and loving and stuff, and that lifelong monogamous relationships are possible? It may require a priority and paradigm shift, but it’s worth it. It really is…

‘marriage’ is not about legal contracts, or institutions in the first place, or decadent wedding parties, and whatever. It is about a lifelong commitment, in which a new family is born. It also is about having a safe place for sexuality. Sexuality is something very powerful, and if it goes wrong, it breaks people, it destroys, it tears apart. That’s the message we should bring. Not that sex outside of marriage is wrong because somehow the bible says it, but that it is wrong because it hurts, and destroys, and degrades, and in the end you loose your humanity like the laday gaga character…

Love and Lifelong monogamous relationships are good news…

For a contrast I will end with the lyrics of a song that was recorded on our wedding ceremony. It can be listened at last.fm (look for the player) is a very lo-fi recording, sorry, and it’s just me and my wife performing.

the beauty in this innocence (Bram Cools)

before you touched my lips
i was unkissed
and so were you my love
a new world will open up for us
like an empty canvas
that’s only ours to paint
in a world of ugliness
in a world or lies
let’s paint something beautiful
let ‘s paint something true (my love)

to love means to give
and I gave myself to you my love
and I ‘ll give myself more and more
iust like you do
let God be our witness here
those promises we made
when we were lying on the edge of the world
breaking them wou! d be suïcide
the end of all we stand for

take my hand and come with me
let’s walk slowly
among those flowers
no need to hurry
let’s take our time
go there barefoot
with our toes through the grass
if we’d go there by car
we’d leave a scar in the landscape
and spoil this garden
and it’s the beauty in this innocence
that I’m in love with

it’s the beauty in this innocence
that I’m in love with

Isn’t only the possibility of this kind of relationships already very good news in the world of ‘bad romance’ and ‘I’m no good’???? We should not condemn those people, they are already in hell, we should bring them good new. Love does exist!!! But that means hat we have to live that good news, and show it to the world with our own lives and relationships. Like the gospel..

(And yes it may sound naieve, but is it not equally naieve to believe that this fucked-up brokenness is all there can be?)




blast from the past 1: work, sex, love and God…

hi all you imaginary readers;

Since  I’m starting with using this english blog, so I thought it could be interesting to repost some older posts I made on some other sites. This one is from the few attempts I once had to use my myspace as a blog, from april 21, 2007, not too long after my marriage. for a soundtrack listen to my songs the beauty in this innocence and  feelings say nothing (love is the first law) which can be downloaded free from last.fm (Warning: crappy lo-fi and weird music!!)

date: saturday, april 21, 2007
title: work, sex, love and God…
originally posted on http://www.myspace.com/bramc

and Oh yeah…

My life has been changing so fast: I’m a grown-up man now… I’ve got a job, I’ve got a wife… I’ve made it now!! I’m someone finally would some people say… And yet I’m wondering, wondering about something, as if I’m missing something, maybe missing everything…

Oh yeah, work is important. When people ask you what you do to earn money they might even derive your identity from the answer… I basicaly just take care for the green in the city because I need the money to live with my little family… But I’m happy with this job because at least I do something that makes the world a little better… even if it’s just about working with plants and trees in this city…

Hmm… I once collected bags of garbage on the street formy money, and it was maybe the most useful thing I ever did for which I did to get paid! If people would not do that for some weeks the world would be a big garbage belt!!! Sometimes the most dirty jobs are more important than the big jobs people look up to in this world… But hey, doctors and teachers were slaves in the roman empire…

I don’t believe that a ‘job’ should be your identity… it is important to do things that make the diference… Paid or unpaid… Am I the guy who does the lawn in the stuyvenbergpark, or an I the weirdo who sings ‘father I am tired’, a song of which people tell me they can relate to, but of which i’ve never made any money. Or am I just the friend, the lover, the guy who tries to be a follower of Christ? I don’t know :s

All I wanna be known for is the love that I give!!!! The rest should be just details!!!

about sex then… It is so over-hyped in this world, but I’ve never been interested in it the way the world sells it. I never experienced it that way either…

Call me naieve for my perception of it, but here’s my point of view on sex: I’ve been single all my of life, and I had never even kissed a girl before I started the relationship with she who is my wife now… People don’t believe me when I tell it but it feels natural to me, just to discover everything together… she’s my best friend, she’s my lover, she’s the biggest present God ever gave me, and she will never be replaceable. I am very well aware that such a thing can only happen once in a lifetime. And that it sounds alien to lots of people too if you tell about such thing…

Love is something weird: It is strange when someone really loves you like she loves me… It is strange when she knows everything about you, including all the dark thangs that you hate about yourself, and still loves you more than you can understand… The Eros stuff is just a part of it, and the love would still be there without sex and it would still be complete in a sexless world… Sex is a part of our relationship, and because it is something we have discovered together, it can only be a part of me and her, and not something on itself… And still it is just an expression of something deeper… It is giving yourself, litterally becoming one, and being so vulnerable without being hurt….

When you are loved in such a complete way, and then you feel at the same that God does love you with a love even bigger than this love which seems to be beyond compare and in which you float away, you cannot do a thing but just drown in it…

Love is what matters… Not money, not your job, not sex… Love is the first law!!! The love that you have given will be what matters in the end!!!!