On Power as the opposite of Love

The opposite of love is power, not hatred. – CG Jung

I came across a quote that I found intriguing, which said that the opposite of love isn’t hatred but power. The first version I saw came from someone named Gregory Wolfe (no idea who that is to be honest) but I also found it attributed to CG Jung (here it is in context) and even C.S. Lewis, all in slightly different words but with the same meaning.

When I posted it on facebook I got some discussion and pushback, but I still agree with the idea behind the quote which is an important Truth if you ask me, even though a lot of nuance needs to be added, otherwise otherwise it might be nonsense or something to disagree with…

This is the short version of how I see power being an opposite of love:

People who have power as their main goal will have to sacrifice love to get it.
People who have love as their main goal will have to sacrifice power to get it.

I suppose I need some more points to clarify what I mean here:

1. Love is a multifaceted thing, and there are many dimensions to it, so you can obviously find different opposites to it too on different axes. Surely ‘the opposite of love isn’t hate’ is not really true, and it’s still the most obvious opposite, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t other opposites to love too. It can certainly be argued for example that the opposite of love is indifference, as a lot of people would quote holocaust survivor Ellie Wiesel, which is a very important truth.
   You could also see it as the opposite of the kind of desire that is only taking and doesn’t care about its object for example.
   I am quite sure other opposites of love can be identified too. Important here is that any sort of love always wants the good for the other.
   
2. Power is also a word with many meanings, which is why I gave my own interpretation, in which I see a more precise definition of power (in the meaning as ‘power over’ too to be even more precise) as a goal in itself as indeed an opposite of love, and a dangerous and destructive temptation. Like the Tolkienian rings of power. Power itself in that sense corrupts and cannot be safe. The more power itself becomes a goal, the more dangerous it becomes, and the less compatible with love, intimacy, or even Truth itself.
   (The problem with how some people hate on ‘weakness’ as the opposite of power might be for another post.)
   
3. I do believe as a Christian that power (generally in all meanings) definitely falls under the 1 Cor13:1-3 category of things : without love it is nothing, or even harmful. Everything need to be balanced and without love even the noblest sentiments can get corrupted, and Power-for-power is not even a noble sentiment…
   The ironic thing is that everyone who gets destroyed in their search for power, by power itself, falls because of their own weakness. Power takes over and the person is ultimately too weak to resist it. Searching for power for the sake of power is the ultimate destructive weakness that destroys many souls who usually destroy others and good things too in their fall.
   
4. Self-control is the beginning of all individual freedom, and if you see that as ‘power over yourself’ then power is important indeed, but not as a means in itself, and power over others and the desire for it is always dangerous. This is the valid point that historical anarchism (see for example Kropotkin) and Christian anarchism (from Tolstoy to Ellul) have always tried to teach humanity, but it’s often missed.
   I’m also reminded here of the nonviolence model of Pat Patfoort, which says that instead of trying to get people in Over-under relationships we should to have every communication out of a position of Equivalence, but that’s probably for another post too.. In the end that should be our approach to others: not trying to be over them or under them, but treating everyone like an equal, rejecting the games of ‘Power over’ altogether.
   Ironically that is the ultimate strength one can have, if we can leave all games of Power over and under behind!

So while it’s not true that we cannot conceive of other valid opposites to love, Power for the sake of it is indeed an opposite of it.
Like I said, it is the thing Tolkien symbolises with the One Ring, which many naive people think they can control, but in the end they will be destroyed by it, usually destroying a lot of other people and good things in the process too.

Sure, strength is important, but unbalanced it’s dangerous. Just cultivating strength alone does not make anyone a better person. We need to know what our goals are, and be grounded in Truth, in Goodness and in Love. Love as a power should be our guide, not a one-sided Nietzschean Will-to-Power that takes over.

What do you think?

Peace

Bram